Fun stuff

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of trying to stay calm while these exchanges were actually taking place...

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes..
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about 20, medium height, and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And, Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.



Yellow Gazette Newsstand

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The Yellow Gazette

We spent most of October preparing for the Yellow Halloween Ball, and this edition's lead story is about that event. Build of the Month features shots of builds recommended by the contest winners. In Building Tips, we are reviewing all the information in the Object Box, and how you can use it to your advantage. We continue with the further adventures of Fuzzy who is trying to find his vest and his mate Shakey. And a finally, a big thank you to Highwayman48 who did a very nice YouTube video of the Halloween site, which may be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Q3GSJrYkWcThe dance.

The Great Yellow Halloween Ball

Nearly 90 people attended The Yellow Halloween Ball which was held in the Old Echo Meadow, between the cemetary and the haunted house, just outside of Admiratio Village in Yellow.

site map

It was very wild affair, with people dressing up, or morphing into their favourite critters for the event. PKToons supplied the music, with Class3 and Veger doing stints as DJs throughout the night. Along with the dancing, people could wander into the graveyard, the crypts, into the haunted house, or take a risk in getting to the end of the Hare Dare Maze. All this was observed by a variety of not so celestial entities, such as a variety of ghosts, zombies, demons, and other creatures.

To make the night even more interesting, the Yellow Gazette staff organised two contests, with prizes of citizenship extensions for the winners. There was a game of Hide and Seek; "Find this guy" said the sign. People had to explore the whole site to try to find Rufus Fuzzybottom, who was wearing a Ghostbusters costume (most appropriate for the event). Rufus was located in the upper level of the east tower of the Widows Hill Manor.

A large number of people had really put a lot of effort into their costumes, and according to the judges, an extremely difficult contest to judge.

The winners of the contests

The winner of the Find Rufus contest was Buddy, who was awarded two months extension on his citizenship.

The best costume contest was announced just past midnight VRT, after considerable nail biting and angst by the Yellow Gazette staff, who were the judges. The winners of the contests were: NicoPaul, who won a three months extension; Shirin got two months, and Dreamer2 gained one extra month on her citizenship. Costume Winners

Events such as this don't happen without a lot of cooperation by a variety of people. The Yellow Gazette staff worked very hard to bring the event to life. Special thanks are also due to Flagg, who was instrumental in getting the dance kiosks and the Ground Zero teleport system set up; PKToons and Class3 did a magnificent job with the music. Bach Zhaa, SWChris, Veger and others were terrific in getting the word out to various worlds through their advertising and announcements, and Maki's sterling efforts in the AWNewsletter made sure that every citizen was aware of the event. And of course, thanks to all who turned up to make the event such a success.

The Adventures of Theo Fuzzybottom

Episode 4:

In which our hero keeps his job and goes to a party.

In our last episode, Fuzzy was visiting his cousin Rufus, who had just handed Fuzzy a flyer for the Yellow Halloween Ball, which was being hosted by the Yellow Gazette. Now, read on...

Click here to continue the story.